Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My Heart is Shattering, Piece by Piece

Dewey on the left/Badger on the right
Berries on the Dogwood tree are beautiful
I decided I couldn't wait until tomorrow to talk to the vet, so I called them yesterday a.m. to see if I could bring him in for someone to have a look at him. I just felt like he was much worse with the "shaking". I saw a vet that I hadn't met before yesterday, and I really liked her. There are three female vets in the clinic that I take the boys to. I haven't met the other one yet, either. She spent a lot of time with me and Badger, long enough that he actually did end up doing this weird little 'twitch'. It is not good. It's worse than 'not good'. She thinks the little twitches are probably Petit Mal Seizures, which is what Badger's regular vet had told me on the phone the day before. That in and of itself wouldn't be so bad EXCEPT that they have just started happening recently. If he'd had them all of his life, like Dewey, well, that would be different. It seems that when they develop them at Badger's age, which is almost 12, they're usually indicative of something else. There's a good possibility that my precious pup has a brain tumor. How absolutely surreal that looks. How can that have anything to do with my all-boy, vivacious, happy little Sugar Pup??? My heart feels like it is literally being ripped out of my chest. This is not 'just a dog' to me....this pup is 'the child of my heart'. I have very swollen eyes to greet the optometrist this morning. Ahhh shit, I can't write any more of this now. More later.

9 comments:

Kristie said...

You poor dear! It does hurt so bad and they become like children to us. We lost our basset hound last month, he just suddenly died. Very hard to get past. I still find myself calling for him to come and eat...
Kristie

Tazzie said...

Ohhh Angie, I'm so sorry, our pets are such precious little ones, and they do become such an important part of our lives.
You're in my prayers hon.
*hugs*
Tazzie

Jen said...

Oh Angie, I'm so sorry. YOu're in my thoughts. My Holly is my life; and getting older by the minute which just kills me. I had to yell at her this am and now I feel so guilty for it. Give them lots of love and hugs and kisses.

Darcie said...

I'm so sorry, Angie. Know that you and Badg are in my thoughts and prayers.

(((Big hugs.)))

Jeanne said...

Angie, I'm so sorry to hear about Badger's health problems. Sending hugs your way.

Carol said...

Oh Angie I am so sad for you...I know exactly what you are saying...our dogs aren't "dogs" they are a very special part of our family. I sending you lots of good thoughts and many hugs.
((((((HUGS))))))

Libby said...

Oh my - I can't imagine how distraught you must feel. I'm sending all the hugs that will fit on the internet your way. I'll be hoping for the best answers from the vet that something can be done to make your precious baby all better.

Thimbleanna said...

Oh Angie, I'm so very sorry. You've brought tears to my eyes.

Peg - Happy In Quilting said...

Angie...my heart goes out to you....I am so very sorry to hear about your Badger...hugs to you..