Thursday, October 09, 2008

Update on Badger

I finally got the urine results back on Badger, and the good news is that the E.Coli infection has cleared up. For that, I'm truly thankful. However, he continues to 'decline'. Unfortunately, I'm really starting to believe that the vet who suggested that it might be a brain tumor is right. The 'seizures' have steadily increased not only in frequency but also in intensity, and some of them now involve his whole body. He has them throughout the entire day now. He also has steadily worsened in his balance, especially in the hind legs. And he's really sensitive to the sunlight in his eyes now. The vet has switched him from prednizone to a generic version of Neurotin but I can't see any change at all in him, better OR worse. He just continues to 'decline'. I'm slowly giving way to acceptance that he will probably not recover from whatever it is. Do I really need to tell you how many tears have been shed in the last few weeks? I finally had a long 'talk' with him the other day about the 'Rainbow Bridge', and told him that when he's ready he can go, that I'll be okay as long as I know that he's 'free to chase bugs and deer and run run run with his little ears flying in the breeze without pain'. I'm not giving up on him, but as I said, I'm slowly gaining some acceptance. He will always be the love and light of my life, that one most precious little face with the silky soft fur, with more zest and courage for life than anyone or animal that I know, that one bonded heartbeat, unlike anything I've ever had with all of the pets that I've had throughout my 52 years, that will always be there.

14 comments:

Screen Door said...

My heart breaks for you.....Hang in there. Gosh, think of what you would have missed out on if you'd never had the pup.

We Live Luv Laugh said...

I'm sobbing as I read this. Our furry babies become such a huge part of our lives, don't they? Know that we will be keeping you and Badger in our hearts and saying several extra prayers that he will soon improve. We love you!

Gina said...

Oh Angie. I'm so sorry. It's so hard to see them suffer when there's nothing you can do about it. I'll be thinking of you all

Love and hugs Gina xxx

Libby said...

My own eyes fill with tears when I read your posts . . . of course, you remain in my thoughts. Stay strong *s*

meggie said...

I do feel for you Angie. Sometimes our greatest act of love for them, can be to let them go.
hugsxx

Mary said...

Just keep talking to him, hugging him... that's all you can do in the face of nature. He's a good-looking old guy. Now I'm thinking about my aging Chloe...

Hugs to you, Angie.

Toni said...

Angie, Sorry to hear about Badger, I lost Hershey last fall and when she was sick she wouldnt even come by me...so just keep loving him as long as he will let you...You are in my thoughts..Toni

Dorothy said...

Angie, my heart aches for you. Try to focus on the wonderful life you've given him and the happiness you've shared.

Tracey @ozcountryquiltingmum said...

I am very sad about your dog, my girl has her heart set on a dachsund, there is something so appealing about their gorgeous eyes, Tracey

Diane said...

Tears came to me when I read your post. It is so hard to let go of our precious pets. They require very little, but give us back unconditional love. My thoughts are with you.

jillquilts said...

My heart goes out to you! This is one of the most painful things - to watch a loved one in pain. Especially one who can not express where it hurts or what is wrong. I've been watching my mom struggle with her dachshund and letting go. I think that she is in the final stretch with Bosco as well and she has finally accepted it. I know that when the time comes, it will be very tough. Enjoy him while he is still with you and take the time to just hold him. My thoughts are with you and Badger and the family. Take care!

Dog_geek said...

Angie, I just came across your blog and had to say how sorry I am to read about Badger's problems. I know what a hard place it is to be in, and my heart breaks for you. Take care.

julieQ said...

I am so sorry your baby dear is ill. My thoughts are with you! Our little baby is going on 16 years old...sigh...declining is a good desciption. Hope you are OK.

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