Thanksgiving Recap

R had doctors' appointments last Tuesday and Wednesday, and there is so much daily stuff that has to be done with only me to do it, and the taking to appointments as well (all of R's doctors are at least an hour away), that I didn't even give a thought to whether or not I would make any of my traditional foods for a proper Thanksgiving Day meal.  Thank goodness for sisters...my one sister that lives within an hour of me actually brought a box of her home-cooked food to us at the doctor's office on Wednesday afternoon so that we would have some special Thanksgiving Day food.  What would I do without my sisters, and especially the one that lives closest to me?

As of last Tuesday (November 20), R's blood work was "better, but not normal", according to lab work done on the 20th.  We will take "better", and hope that things continue to improve. 

Time is a funny thing.  The days each seem to speed by from morning to dark, yet at the same time, the minutes and hours can seem to stretch out into days'- long brackets.  I don't think I knew that a person could be so chronically, bone-deep tired and weary.  I seem to be going full speed most days, and then there will be a day or two thrown in the mix somewhere that I am just collapsed in a puddle in the middle of the mess. 

R has an appointment next Monday, December 3, with a Nephrologist (kidney specialist).  We are both apprehensive about it, and yet I will be relieved to have him seen by someone who can  hopefully tell us what is actually going on with his kidneys.  He is still retaining a ton of fluid, even though he's on a daily dose of Lasix.  He has developed another edema blister, this time on his left foot.  I'm still cleaning and dressing the wound each night on his right foot from a huge edema blister that got broken.

I look back over the path my life has taken to this point, and still can't figure out how this is where we have landed, at least for the near (and maybe far) future.

*I haven't been on the bike/trainer in at least 2 months, maybe longer.  I just got on it today and rode 1 mile, 9.20 minutes, avg speed 6.7.  Piddly amount, but at least it's another beginning.  Wasn't sure I would ever get on it again.  I have to say, though, my knees were so much better when I was riding more days of the week than not.*

Humble Quilts: Paradise: How We Can Help

Humble Quilts: Paradise: How We Can Help: So many heartbreaking stories coming out of California. I'm not sure why this tragedy has pulled on my heartstrings so much. Maybe it...

Trying

“I just do the best I can to face what life brings. That’s the secret, you know. That’s the way you change your fate.”

— ALICE HOFFMAN, THE RULES OF MAGIC

“Surrender means wisely accommodating ourselves to what is beyond our control.”

— SYLVIA BOORSTEIN

*Our hearts still ache for Bayley--October 2016*

“Let it come, as it will, and don't
be afraid. God does not leave us
comfortless, so let evening come. "
― Jane Kenyon, Let Evening Come

“The soul's bliss and suffering are bound together.” 
― Jane Kenyon

Happy Thanksgiving

From our home to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.

Not Qualified for the Job

By reason of default, and certainly not by qualification, I have been put in charge of weighing R every day, and trying to determine if he should take some Lasix each day, based on loose guidelines that one of the doctors has given me.  It is not a position that I would have willingly taken on because it is such a serious thing, and it weighs heavy with worry on my mind.  We are in a holding pattern right now, with bits of progress in some areas, and I hold breath and pray that he can at least maintain where he is right now, with his foot and leg slowly healing, but healing, and that he can continue to just go forward without more serious kidney issues or falls until he has regained significantly more strength.  Every day is such a huge challenge for him. 

The daily chores, along with the nursing thrown in for good measure, leave little time for me to even think about how I'm doing---physically or mentally.  I fall into bed each night, exhausted to my soul, knowing I've done the best I could this day, and fitfully and fretfully try to get enough sleep for the challenges ahead in the coming day. 

No Treats---Just Tricks on Halloween

Our internet went out on Halloween, and it was just restored late last night.  R has had multiple doctors' appointments in the last two weeks, and we have desperately needed to do some medical research online, as well as health insurance and Medicare changes needing our attention, but we were reduced to pacing the floor (me) and bemoaning how much we needed to do and couldn't do with the DSL out (R).

We had an appointment with the Vascular Surgeon last Friday (11-9-18), and he said R is not well enough to withstand the aneurysm surgery at this time.  He set up an appointment with a Cardiologist in the same group for today (11-15-18).  Leaving the Heart Center last Friday for another appointment at another location, R had a hard fall on the concrete sidewalk.  Was sent for CT of the brain to make sure there was no brain bleed.  There wasn't, thank goodness.  At the second appointment, they told us he was on the verge of his kidneys completely shutting down.  His blood pressure was way too low, and he was severely dehydrated due to Lasix.  He was given IV fluids and then released to come home.  It was a long, harrowing day.

Today, we see the the Cardiologist and have lab work again to see how his kidneys are doing.  This is the scariest journey I have ever been on in my life.  And Winter is setting in.